Astitva.... The Fountainhead

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Many years ago there started a series on the television by the name "Friends". Most of you reading this post would have seen it. It was a comedy, meant for entertainment and fun.
Did it manage to depict what friends are like in reality? Have a look at the relationship you share with your friends and then compare it with what you saw on Friends. I am sure Friends did manage to depict many finer points in friendship over the long years that it lasted. But did it really depict true friendship? Which brings us to another question and a more relevant one, as this post is not intended to be a review of the tv series "Friends".

The question being "What is friendship?"
Among the many people we meet in our lives, some end up being friends. There has to be some factor that differentiates your friends from others. But surprisingly, many different people end up being friends to one single person. This makes it all the more difficult to identify that common factor that brings some closer than others. And if that were not enough, there are some people who are closer friends to us than others.
I doubt if anyone has had the same group of friends since we were young. People keep entering and exiting our friendship. This process is dynamic and perpetually in progress. This explains why some people are closer to us than others. As you make or loose friends, your extent of friendship with those people varies.

Someone told me other day that he can only have a few friends in his life at a given time. To me it sounds kinda odd, coz friendship is not something you can plan and decide upon. The moment you do so, its no longer friendship but becomes a compromise or a contract. At least from your end if not the other. You cannot control the number of friends you have.

Another pitfall occurs is believing that people who you know well are your friends. An important point to note is that knowing someone could well be incidental. Your situation and circumstances will bring you close to many people. You will get to know many of them, but you may not necessarily make friends with them.

I believe that the baisc component of a good friendship is trust. If two people have mutual trust, they can be friends. This does not necessarily mean that they will end up being friends as there are many other external factors that impact the existence of friendship. But trust is the basic element needed. Similarly, if trust is broken among friends, friendship crumbles.